The clinical definition of a sexless marriage is having sex less than ten times a year, which is simply not as much as there should be. It is of course impossible to absolutely define how much sex is right for any given couple. Some experts say that a sexless marriage is not just to be blamed on not having sex, but rather a mismatching of libidos. They estimate that one out of every three couples struggle with problems where there is low sexual desire in one/both partners and that a shocking twenty percent of married couples have sex less than ten times a year.
What does that mean for you? It means you are not alone!
A marriage void of sexuality and intimacy is doomed to fail. When there is no opportunity for intimacy then bitterness, resentment, and desperation begin to build. Physical intimacy acts as a rebirth, often soothing bad feelings that can exist after a fight. Lack of desire for sex goes a lot deeper into the hearts of the couple dealing with it and is one of the primary reasons for a sexless marriage.
Several things can led to a waning sexual desire. The birth of a child can be one thing that starts that. After a woman gives birth, her bodies’ hormones become balanced differently and she also gets less sleep as she devotes most of her energy to her child. Women who are sleep deprived and overworked often feel little compassion for their husband’s feelings. This leaves the husband hurt and sometimes even angry because of the constant rejection from his wife. If this continues, he will stop investing his energy into the marriage. Even in the rare instances where couples can be intimate, their experiences often leave them empty because of the resentment and hurt they have inside them.
Sex gives couples the chance to give and receive physical pleasure, to connect on a spiritual level, and bond emotionally. It is an extremely important part of marriage. It builds closeness, intimacy, and a sense of partnership. If the casual physical intimacy, such as kissing and touching, is ceased, a marriage becomes mechanical and the friendship that a couple might have shared before becomes anger and resentment that tends to bubble beneath the surface of all their interactions.
This can be avoided simply by realizing there may be a mismatch in your levels of sexual desire. One partner may be more highly sexed. Now this does not mean they have a sex addiction or an unhealthy appetite for sex, simply they feel more connection through sex and find it more helpful in maintaining their relationship with their spouse.
One thing that helps soothe these feelings is getting back into the habit of being more intimate on a daily basis. For some couples this may see this as an obstacle because their spouse has no physical interest in them it seems. There is a solution. Through the use of pheromones you can stimulate your partner’s sexual interest in you to the point where physical intimacy will become a regular part of your life again.